I think we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves. I know that I feel like my house should look like it lives in a comfy English town, my windows should sparkle, my kitchen floor gleam and my green thumb imprinted on every shrub, flower or tree. Let me run a magazine, have a TV show and raise my two flirty boys. I don't think we should lessen our expectations of ourselves, but I think we should allow ourselves a little slack now and then. It is easy for me to get caught up with expectations that I can not fill, and maybe couldn't fill if I didn't have two kids. After I had Kenny I was still able to pull off great tea parties to the T, since Cole came along? I can still pull off a great tea party, but now it is focused on the group of friends who have graced me with their time without children. It's a different focus, but my focus can not be all on food, decor and favors.... while chasing my three and one year old around the house... or in most cases out of the kitchen with their toys.
Maybe I am learning what is more important. It is time spent and cherished with people. We know that wealth, material things and what you surround yourself with doesn't really matter at the end. Instead we should remember to focus on the experience of life, give as much as you can and surround yourself with great memories. When we are dust to dust we can't take our stuff with us, so what can we leave behind? I hope that what I leave behind is some really great memories. When I am dead I want people to smile when they think of me, not be sad because I ended up lonely.
So what does all this have to do with parenting? (Really it does) we don't need to get caught up in all the "material things" we can give our children. Most of my memories of my childhood and my Mother are things that we have done together. Sure I can recite some of the gifts she has given me over time, but it is the time spent in the kitchen, crafting with her, camping, spending time outside and playing. My mother gave me a lot of great gifts, imagination, creativity, independence, and love. Today I am proud to call her one of my closest friends, but that didn't come by easy, she was always my mother first. My kids deserve everything that I can give them. I need to give them me. That is what they deserve. They need to know that they are loved and I adore them. Some days though it is easy to get caught up with all the stuff I "should be doing" to help develop them. You know what? We did fine before technology hit us. My kids will get there, they don't have to be reading at a fifth grade level by kindergarten. Right now... I would love them to be potty trained by kindergarten! :) Life is short. Remember to enjoy it and enjoy our children. Too quickly does this all pass.
Remember when your heart melted that first time those tiny fingers wrapped around your finger?
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